Sunday, March 25, 2007

Never Enough

It’s been one of those days where from every direction I’m hearing that I’m not good enough. I’m not a good enough youth leader. I’m not a good enough R.A. I’m not a good enough cheerleader. I’m not a good enough student. I can’t give what everyone is demanding of me right now. As far as the youth goes, I have such a strong passion for these kids, but I just don’t have the time too invest in them when I am trying to invest in my residents as an RA, my friends here at CBU, my cheer squad, and the list goes on. I look at Christ and see how he only had 12 that he invested in, but I find myself always getting suck in this place where I overstretch myself and them hear from all areas that I’m so busy and I’m never around. I guess a commitment to Sunday’s and phone calls during the week aren’t good enough for other leaders. As far as cheer goes, we leave for Nationals in a week and as a whole we are not at all prepared to go. I know it’s just cheer, but I take what I do seriously. Obviously I suck as a back spot when the flyer comes crashing down on my head every time!
Yeah, laugh all you want, but you have a girl come flying at your face and then see if you laugh!
I freakin have welts for crying out loud on my face and bruises on my arms. Why the heck did I decide to do this… once again, I try to do too many things at once. Yes, this lesson I should have been learned a long time ago! As an R.A. I just feel like time has become an issue and I’m “never around” or so I get from my residence even though I try my best of visiting once a week… but obviously my best isn’t good enough.
And last of the list, school. I worked by butt off sitting in isolated rooms studying day in and day out for my classes to get… NO WHERE! I obviously am not good enough to get into nursing and now have no future and no direction in life at the current moment. I know God is sovereign and has an amazing plan for my life; I’m just at the moment scared of the unknown. I guess it’s just hard when I am trying my best in all areas of life and it just doesn’t seem to be good enough to those around me.

1 comment:

RobinDayle said...

You are MORE than enough.
You were created in the image of the most high God...please try and tell me that's not good enough.

And good enough for whom? Our audience is not of this strive the be holy and righteous in His sight, and tell everyone else to just hush.

I love you hooch.