Friday, March 16, 2007

I'm Back!

So, after a long and thought out process, I decided to come back to the world of blogs. Not like anyone really read mine in the first place, but it’s just nice sometimes to let my emotions out. So, for those of you that find me, I welcome you one step closer into the mind of Hooch!

This week has been an emotional rollercoaster to say the least. I found out at the beginning of this week that I was rejected from the one and only grad school I applied to and later found that there was a glitch in their computer system and it completely overlooked my file. I should have been accepted but they already have the maximum amount of students for the fall.

So… thank you Western! (sarcastic)

The odd thing is that I feel at peace about not getting accepted. I just don’t know if this is God redirecting my career or just schools? When it comes down to it, I just don’t know what I want to do with my life. I really don’t know why I’m going into nursing. I guess through all the hospital visits I was inspired, but I really can’t picture myself working in a hospital. But then again, I can’t picture myself anywhere at the moment. A part of me would love to work in ResLife, but then I question myself as to why. Do I only want to do ResLife because it’s comfortable and it would keep me in a familiar environment or has God really placed these desires in my heart to guide me into my future career? The odd thing is that through all the crap I’ve gone through with ResLife, I still love it. But then again, a good friend of mine once said that I’m like an abused wife who keeps coming back from more beatings which hasn’t left my mind since. It’s just too much to think about and when I do I get overwhelmed and shut down but I have to face my future sooner than later and I better have a plan when the present runs out. If I decide to go into nursing, I have to wait a year till the next application process begins which leaves me working or doing what for a year? I could work as an ARD which makes me really excited just thinking about it, but I don’t want to stay just because it’s comfortable… I don’t want to be the bird that is too afraid to fly out of the nest (which I am).

Currently I feel like I’m in the middle of the desert and I can’t figure out which way is north and which way is south. I have no idea where to go from here since my one and only plan feel through. So, now I wait and pray for God’s guidance into the future which scares the living daylights out of me but I know HE has an amazing plan for me. . . It’s the waiting that I hate. There are so many other things that have been weighing on my heart this week, but as the title goes… you only get one step today.

1 comment:

RobinDayle said...

I updated...finally.

Oh, and I love you.